


Anything, But

by gravy



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, POV Second Person, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 11:10:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20096299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gravy/pseuds/gravy
Summary: "I'd do anything for you, Rei-san!"That's what he said, isn't it? But you know better.





	Anything, But

**Author's Note:**

> heres something really short
> 
> feels like shit man i just want canon madarei

_"I'd do anything for you, Rei-san!"_

That's what he said, isn't it? But you know better.

The way he can easily lie like that-- no, perhaps he doesn't realize it himself. Simply, you call him and he comes willingly. That's all that your relationship amounts to. One that of a Succesor and Predecessor. The way he talks and the things he's seen and done... the secrets he knows... he doesn't need this position, so _why_? And he knows what you're like: tired and broken. It's clear in the way he spits out his laughter at you. You have to wonder if it's out of pity that he even shows up.

He comes to fix your coffin, to set up appliances, put away equipment, tell you the things he knows... then he sees Kanata, and it's almost ironic, you think. For all that he can repair, there's nothing he can do for himself.

One night he walks you home and before he can turn away, you kiss him. You don't know whose comfort it is for anymore, but when he kisses you back, you don't care. You take him inside to your bed, and again, he goes willingly. Under the cover of darkness, he touches you, holds you, and for a moment-- _loves_ you.

Just for a moment.

_Stay,_ you tell him. _No one would notice,_ is what you keep to yourself.

He doesn't even dignify you with a response. He leaves you with a chaste kiss on the forehead and shuffles out your door quietly.

Again and again, you let him fuck you, but it's never like the first time. There are times he doesn't make a sound and some days he doesn't even look at you. Come Winter, and it's like clockwork-- an unspoken agreement to get each other off and have it go no further. You don't know if it's better or worse to have him in any way and it's _crushing_ you.

It is when you're finally crumpled in the rich cloth that adorns the floor of the handicraft club that Shu approaches you.

"I don't know why it has to be that barbarian," he sniffs, "but I cannot stand to see you like this."

You say you don't know what to do.

Shu makes an expression you've only ever seen once before. Wordlessly, he helps you up and not even Mademoiselle has anything to add.

Maybe it's pathetic that you've let yourself become so wrapped like this... the fact you're letting it show is proof enough. You had come to talk to Shu in the first place, but now you can't bear to know what he thinks. So you say nothing else, turning away to look out the window.

And there, you spot him in the courtyard-- lifting his friends and laughing amongst his classmates. It's almost as if this is your punishment for letting so many down. But the sound of his laughter helps you forget... when you close your eyes, you can feel his embrace and hear his voice soothe you. Gentle and rough all at once, and not for his own sake-- all he wants is the best for everybody, isn't it?

_"It's fine if you aim for a dream again..."_

He had said that once, right? And really, when he comes to you, you think you can believe him. But when you open your eyes, you see him smiling so softly toward the fountain-- so much in a way that's never been directed toward you.

Not a dream like this.

**Author's Note:**

> hmmmohhmygodd
> 
> im not good at writing angst. maybe thats obvious by how... idk cliche and over the top i made this. haaahaa
> 
> i wrote this on my phone sorry if there's any mistakes.. thanks for reading!


End file.
